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  There is life inside a hockey Puck! Recent Laboratory studies prove that there is indeed some kind of movement inside a hockey puck. Several pucks were randomly chosen from random cities and countries and with each one came these same results.

   Using a new-aged high-powered microscope identity system, it was determined that the hockey puck is made of trillions of particles which I have named the “pucktrons”. These pucktrons can not exist once removed from within the puck. Under certified tests conducted at the Johnny Puck Cyber Laboratories, it was found that, if some reason a pucktron is displaced to the outer (top) level of the puck, it dissipates into the atmosphere without a trace.

   Using an advanced mini-microphone designed by an undisclosed U.S. Government research facility, there was a distinctive noise that was being emitted from inside each puck. After many months of research, it was determined that this chatter was actually the language that pucktrons use to communicate with each other. Their spoken skills were still quite primitive consisting of high pitched squeals.

   A study (funded by a small group of puckologists) into the sexual habits of the pucktrons revealed that pucktrons have no sexual identities. They are neither male, female or neuter. They are not capable of having sex. Pucktrons are the simplest form of life.

   One more interesting finding occurred when we injected a name brand beer into the nucleus of the puck. All the pucktrons moved and chattered excitingly. If you are of legal drinking age, you may test this theory yourself. Go buy a 12 pack, and you, and your favorite puck sit down and start drinking. After awhile the puck may become blurry, ah ... but it is the pucktrons really moving that you see. There is a secret ingredient that used in the brewing process that enables you to go to the puck level of being.

   I am lead to believe that these pucktrons are in the early stage of their evolutionary development. Hmmm, that reminds me of another species found on this planet!


There is life inside

a Hockey Puck

research by Dr. Johnny Puck